Monday, May 3, 2010

A lesson in Compassion

Yesterday, on my way home from work, I saw an old man; he was humbly dressed, wearing a red hat and sweeping a driveway. I thought to myself – I wonder if it’s his house (it was a nice house) or is he just the gardener/caretaker. Then I saw a young girl sitting on the steps of the house watching the old man sweeping. So then I figured he must be the grandfather. And then I saw a homeless-man shuffle by the house. Without hesitation, the old man stopped sweeping, reached in his pocket and pulled out a dollar, and gave it to the homeless guy. The old man just gave – no thought, no hesitation; it was the unconditional nature of the man. He went back to sweeping and the little girl went back to watching him sweep. And then I thought – Oh! I get it! A random act of kindness, etched into the memory of his granddaughter – Compassion. The old man is brilliant.

Eris

Eris is on my mind…

Eris and I met in grade school and although we went to different high schools we remained friends. Never dated, just really good friends. I just turned 51 years old and Eris has been on my mind.

When we were 14, I walked into my kitchen and there was Eris, laughing, smiling, and baking zucchini bread with dad.

When we were 16, Eris and I were driving downtown and she asked me, “Pat, have you ever been in love?” I said, “No Eris, I’m still working on my favorite flavor of ice cream!”

That summer she moved away. She moved to San Diego, but we kept in touch. One night, dad walked into my room with a phone-bill and said “How can anybody talk on the phone, long distance for 4 hours?” I said, “Dad, I made the call, but Eris does all the talking, I just listen.”

At age 18, she went off to college and I joined the Navy. When I was 20, my ship pulled into San Diego for a short visit. Standing on the dock, were three beautiful girls. Eris in the middle. The sailors were saying, “Wow, check out those girls, I wonder who they’re waiting for?” I was saying, “Excuse me, excuse me, coming through," and "I’ll see you guys in a couple days.”

On her graduation from college, I drove down to the University to surprise her. I walked the line of graduates until I found her and gave her 11 roses – I kept one for her mom (I was gonna need a place to stay that night).

Over the next few years, our own lives took hold. She married and so did I. She had children, as did I. ...And then, one day, she called. She said, “Pat, I’m not doing well.” She said, “I have cancer.” I said, “Wow, I’m sorry," I said, "I’ll come see you real soon.”

She died a few months later, she was 33 years old and I never got the chance to see her.
I’m 51 years old now. When we were 16 she asked, “Pat, have you ever been in love?”

…Well, my favorite Ice cream is Swiss Orange Chip… And I really miss Eris!